40 faves of Phil

2008-08-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

Kids today don't know they're born. When I were a lad, we had three channels: BBC1, BBC2 and ITV. Mum and Dad didn't let me watch much ITV, as they thought it would be a bad influence. BBC2 operated for 15 minutes a day and showed Open University programmes. Even with my precocious intellectual curiosity, it held little attraction. As a result, I lived my life on BBC1. Blue Peter rather than Magpie. And a strange programme which encouraged me to eschew the gogglebox entirely, known as Why don't you switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead? (The stuff they recommended I do was so compelling that it escapes me entirely now. But I guess it involved making necklaces out of the silver milk bottle tops that birds pecked on your doorstep back in the 70s.)

As I approach 40, I am prepared to make a rather embarrassing, but heartfelt and genuine admission. Television has been a huge part of my life. And although I've grown to love all the new media that overwhelms us today, I truly belong to the TV era. The generations before me were born too early for the small screen to dominate their childhood. The generations behind me see TV as just another element of the communication mix.

But I was there. I saw the first episode of Grange Hill in the 1970s. I got together with friends to watch back-to-back Dallas episodes on VHS in the 80s. And in the 1990s, David Caruso and Emmy-winning Vietnam vet Dennis Franz persuaded me to jump on a plane to New York just through their electric performances in NYPD Blue.

I'd be the first to admit that my collection of 40 TV shows contains a lot of omissions. Steve Bochco's Murder One, for instance. Some cracking Australian soaps, such as Young Doctors and A Country Practice. And, of course, Jim Bowen in Bullseye. But I've tried to span the four decades as best I can. And I've brought together clips and theme tunes from programmes that have brought me particular pleasure. Let's take a trip down memory lane before life truly begins on 1st November.

Sale of the Century

2008-08-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

Live from Norwich, it's the birthday of the year!

321

2008-08-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

After this birthday, all you'll walk away with is a brand new dustbin.

Sapphire and Steel

2008-08-09T15:58:00.001-07:00

P40B has been assigned.

Rentaghost

2008-08-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

At this party, be a smarty.

Multicoloured Swap Shop

2008-08-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

If you want to swap birthdays, call 01-288 8055.

Hart to Hart

2008-08-09T15:46:00.001-07:00

"This is Phil Woodford, a self-made self-publicist. He's quite a guy."

Who wants to be a millionaire?

2008-08-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

I'll go for P40B, Chris.

Nathan Barley

2008-08-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

P40B is well weapon.

Dad's Army

2008-08-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

Permission to speak about the birthday, Captain Mainwaring, sir!

The Two Ronnies

2008-08-09T15:26:00.001-07:00

It's goodnight from him. And it's happy birthday to me.

Star Trek TNG

2008-08-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

P40B, Number One? Make it so.

Star Trek

2008-08-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

Full speed ahead, Mr Sulu. 235 mark 2. P40B.

The X Files

2008-08-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

All the evidence of a birthday conspiracy is there, Scully, but you still refuse to acknowledge it!

Mad Men

2008-08-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

This fall, we're proposing the biggest birthday campaign that the P40B organisation has ever seen. So let's invite the secretaries to stay late and crack open the Vermouth.

Cracker

2008-08-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

"I can tell you straight off that this man was born in the late 1960s and lives in the suburbs of London. He is filled with self-love and is capable of organising one of the most extreme birthday parties you have ever seen..."

Blackadder goes forth

2008-08-09T14:50:00.001-07:00

Tell me, Darling. When in this birthday?

Fawlty Towers

2008-08-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

No need to worry, dear! Just a tiny birthday celebration. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.

Are you being served?

2008-08-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Are you free on 1st November?

I'm Alan Partridge

2008-08-09T14:29:00.000-07:00

Do you mind if I talk about my birthday? Helps me to keep the wolf from the door, so to speak.

Quantum Leap

2008-08-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

"Theorizing that he could create a unique 40th birthday celebration, Mr Phil Woodford stepped into the P40B accelerator and vanished."

Little House on the Prairie

2008-08-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'll be back for my birthday, pa. Just as soon as I finish my chores.

Drop the Dead Donkey

2008-08-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

This is Phil Woodford, for P40B, reporting from the shattered heart of west Beirut.

NYPD Blue

2008-07-27T15:49:00.001-07:00

"Get this birthday asshole down the station house and tune him up a little."

Not the nine o'clock news

2008-07-27T15:47:00.001-07:00

I want a hedgehog sandwich for my 40th.

Jim'll fix it

2008-07-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

"Now then, now then, guys and gals. I have a letter here from a young lad called Phil Woodford and he says 'Dear Jim, please will you fix it for me to have the world's largest birthday party.' Well, as it 'appens, all the birthday parties were taken, but we found a special way of helping out thanks to our good friends at P40B."

Top of the Pops

2008-07-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

"Well, goodness gracious, goodness gracious, now then. Riding high in the hit parade, it's Phil Woodford with P40B, as it 'appens."

Cheggers Plays Pop

2008-07-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

Phil drinks pop. But not until November 1st.

The Sweeney

2008-07-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

"You had no right to gatecrash my birthday, Mr Regan."

The Professionals

2008-07-27T15:38:00.000-07:00

"39 to 45.... 39 to 45. What happened to 40?"

Minder

2008-07-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

"Do what? Geezer's having a birthday and he's sent 40 titfers round the world?"

"That's exactly right, Terence, my son. And you would be well advised to take heed. Put that vodka slimline on the slate would you, Dave?"

Flash Gordon

2008-07-22T17:10:00.001-07:00

"He comes from the planet P40B, your Excellency."

"Destroy him at once."

Champion the Wonder Horse

2008-07-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

The time will come when everyone will know the name of Champion the Wonder Horse. (And Phil Woodford too).

Alias Smith & Jones

2008-07-22T17:07:00.001-07:00

You have until sunrise to turn 40. And if I see you in this here town again...

Rainbow

2008-07-22T17:06:00.001-07:00

"Whose birthday is it, George?"

"I don't know, Bungle. But I think Zippy has stolen my sausages."

Seinfeld

2008-07-22T17:02:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed how when guys get older they start to celebrate their birthdays in strange ways?

Hawaii Five O

2008-07-22T16:57:00.001-07:00

"Book the 40th birthday guy, Danno. Murder one."

Larry Sanders Show

2008-07-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

Hey now.

Little Britain

2008-07-22T16:49:00.001-07:00

I am not a birthday boy. I am a laydee.

Green Wing

2008-07-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

Let's do the whole 40th birthday thing in a Geordie accent.

Quincy ME

2008-07-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

"Hey, Sam! Where's my corrfee? And I want to tell you something. This guy with the 40th birthday. There's something about his story that just doesn't add up."