Kids today don't know they're born. When I were a lad, we had three channels: BBC1, BBC2 and ITV. Mum and Dad didn't let me watch much ITV, as they thought it would be a bad influence. BBC2 operated for 15 minutes a day and showed Open University programmes. Even with my precocious intellectual curiosity, it held little attraction. As a result, I lived my life on BBC1. Blue Peter rather than Magpie. And a strange programme which encouraged me to eschew the gogglebox entirely, known as Why don't you switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead? (The stuff they recommended I do was so compelling that it escapes me entirely now. But I guess it involved making necklaces out of the silver milk bottle tops that birds pecked on your doorstep back in the 70s.)
As I approach 40, I am prepared to make a rather embarrassing, but heartfelt and genuine admission. Television has been a huge part of my life. And although I've grown to love all the new media that overwhelms us today, I truly belong to the TV era. The generations before me were born too early for the small screen to dominate their childhood. The generations behind me see TV as just another element of the communication mix.
But I was there. I saw the first episode of Grange Hill in the 1970s. I got together with friends to watch back-to-back Dallas episodes on VHS in the 80s. And in the 1990s, David Caruso and Emmy-winning Vietnam vet Dennis Franz persuaded me to jump on a plane to New York just through their electric performances in NYPD Blue.
I'd be the first to admit that my collection of 40 TV shows contains a lot of omissions. Steve Bochco's Murder One, for instance. Some cracking Australian soaps, such as Young Doctors and A Country Practice. And, of course, Jim Bowen in Bullseye. But I've tried to span the four decades as best I can. And I've brought together clips and theme tunes from programmes that have brought me particular pleasure. Let's take a trip down memory lane before life truly begins on 1st November.
Saturday, 9 August 2008
The X Files
All the evidence of a birthday conspiracy is there, Scully, but you still refuse to acknowledge it!
Mad Men
This fall, we're proposing the biggest birthday campaign that the P40B organisation has ever seen. So let's invite the secretaries to stay late and crack open the Vermouth.
Cracker
"I can tell you straight off that this man was born in the late 1960s and lives in the suburbs of London. He is filled with self-love and is capable of organising one of the most extreme birthday parties you have ever seen..."
Fawlty Towers
No need to worry, dear! Just a tiny birthday celebration. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
I'm Alan Partridge
Do you mind if I talk about my birthday? Helps me to keep the wolf from the door, so to speak.
Quantum Leap
"Theorizing that he could create a unique 40th birthday celebration, Mr Phil Woodford stepped into the P40B accelerator and vanished."
Drop the Dead Donkey
This is Phil Woodford, for P40B, reporting from the shattered heart of west Beirut.
Sunday, 27 July 2008
Jim'll fix it
"Now then, now then, guys and gals. I have a letter here from a young lad called Phil Woodford and he says 'Dear Jim, please will you fix it for me to have the world's largest birthday party.' Well, as it 'appens, all the birthday parties were taken, but we found a special way of helping out thanks to our good friends at P40B."
Top of the Pops
"Well, goodness gracious, goodness gracious, now then. Riding high in the hit parade, it's Phil Woodford with P40B, as it 'appens."
Minder
"Do what? Geezer's having a birthday and he's sent 40 titfers round the world?"
"That's exactly right, Terence, my son. And you would be well advised to take heed. Put that vodka slimline on the slate would you, Dave?"
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Champion the Wonder Horse
The time will come when everyone will know the name of Champion the Wonder Horse. (And Phil Woodford too).
Rainbow
"Whose birthday is it, George?"
"I don't know, Bungle. But I think Zippy has stolen my sausages."
Seinfeld
Have you ever noticed how when guys get older they start to celebrate their birthdays in strange ways?
Quincy ME
"Hey, Sam! Where's my corrfee? And I want to tell you something. This guy with the 40th birthday. There's something about his story that just doesn't add up."
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